So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
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It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
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I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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