Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Randomize
