these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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