Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize