Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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