is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
