Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
