whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
