I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
