umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
