Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Randomize
