So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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