She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
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I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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