I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
