The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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