she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
