remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
