you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
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Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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