it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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