what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
