omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
