I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm passing your future prison.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
