went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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