I need help removing her.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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