I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
