p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
