She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
