I heard we made out
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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