trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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