I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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