dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i came on her dog
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
