my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize