He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
