The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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