Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
