This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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