when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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