Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
