hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
