i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
