I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
