Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
