I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
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Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
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I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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