I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
