you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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