Umm I'm too high to move.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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