Just cropdusted the office
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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