She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
