I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
