Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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