Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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