I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
