her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize