I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
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Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
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I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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