Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She just used a chaser for red wine.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
