is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
