We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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