Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
