the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
