The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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