I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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